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Main

Philosophy

...no
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
of genuinely superior intelligence has ever been an actor. Even supposing a young man of appreciable
mentalDefinition of mind: The ability to think, so instead of just concrete objects, to spiritually consider abstract principles.
powers to be lured upon the stage, as philosophers are occasionally lured into bordellos, his
mindDefinition of mind: The ability to think, so instead of just concrete objects, to spiritually consider abstract principles.
would be inevitably and almost immediately destroyed by the gaudy nonsense issuing from his mouth every night.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A celebrity is one who is
knownDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A cynic is a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
politicianDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
who
liveDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
in it.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
always remembers his first
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Adultery is the application of democracy to
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

All
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells
betterDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

And what is a
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Any
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
who afflicts the
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Any
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
who, having a child or children he can't support, proceeds to have another should be sterilized at once.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Archbishop: a
ChristianDefinition of religion: A worldview, based on the belief in one or more supernatural, unearthly, extrasensory forces and principles, that transcend the physical universe.
ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
. On some great and glorious
dayDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students - there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Congress consists of one third, more or less, scoundrels; two thirds, more or less, idiots; and three thirds, more or less, poltroons.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Democracy is the theory that the common
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
what they want and deserve to get it
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
and hard.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Don't overestimate the decency of the
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
race.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Every decent
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
is ashamed of the government he
livesDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
under.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Every
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
is thoroughly happy twice in his
lifeDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
: just after he has met his first
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
, and just after he has left his last one.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Every normal
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
must be tempted at
timesDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical
beliefDefinition of religion: A worldview, based on the belief in one or more supernatural, unearthly, extrasensory forces and principles, that transcend the physical universe.
in the occurrence of the improbable.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the
unknowableDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
associations together. Our
friendsDefinition of friend: Someone to which you have a relationship based on mutual affection. It is characterized by trust and familiarity.
seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Giving every
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
a vote has no more made
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
wise and
freeDefinition of freedom: The possibility of a person to decide, unaffected from outside, within the limits of one's own possibilities and respect for the rights of others.
than
ChristianityDefinition of religion: A worldview, based on the belief in one or more supernatural, unearthly, extrasensory forces and principles, that transcend the physical universe.
has made them
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

GodDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, thehelpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Happiness is the china shop;
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
is the bull.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

He marries
bestDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
who puts it off until it is too late.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Husbands never become
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
; they merely become proficient.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
shoots himself.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

If I had my way, any
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
becomes explicable.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

ImmoralityDefinition of moral: Guiding principles or generally accepted societal value judgments.
: the morality of those who are having a
betterDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Immortality is the condition of a dead
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
who doesn't believe he is dead.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

In the United States, doing
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

In this
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

It is hard to believe that a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
is telling the
truthDefinition of truth: Accordance with the reality resp. a fact. The accuracy of the reflection of reality is meant with the notion of truth.
when you
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
that you would lie if you were in his place.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven
beingDefinition of existence: The universal presence of a physical or spiritual thing or entity. It is the cause of everything else and is at the basis of everything else.
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
at billiards or golf.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic
womanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

It is the dull
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Judge: a law student who marks his own papers.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Jury: a group of twelve
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
who, having lied to the judge about their hearing,
healthDefinition of health: A relative term that describes a desirable norm of non-presence of disease.
and business engagements, have failed to fool him.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Lawer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

LoveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
: The delusion that one
womanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
differs from another.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

ManDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
is a
naturalDefinition of nature: That which was not created by man. Also: the essence of a thing.
polygamist: he always has one
womanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

ManDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of
godsDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
. This fighting, no doubt, makes for
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
progress, for it favors the strong and the brave. It also makes for beauty, for lesser
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
by creating a more
lovelyDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
one of their own.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

MenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
are the only animals that devote themselves,
dayDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

MenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
have a much
betterDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
of it than
womenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing they die earlier.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Never let your inferiors do you a favor - it will be extremely costly.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

New York: A third-rate Babylon.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

No normal
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
ever fell in
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
after thirty when the kidneys begin to disintegrate.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing they were dead and in heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in hell.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Thanksgiving
DayDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a
lovingDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
Father that it is not hydrophobia.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The
bestDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
years are the forties; after fifty a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The capacity of
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The chief contribution of Protestantism to
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
thoughtDefinition of mind: The ability to think, so instead of just concrete objects, to spiritually consider abstract principles.
is its massive proof that
GodDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
is a bore.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one
livesDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
in a
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
in which it is overestimated.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10,000 revolutions per
minuteDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
.
ManDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The cynics are right nine
timesDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
out of ten.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he
knowsDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
to be untrue to
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
he knows to be idiots.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The difference between a
moralDefinition of moral: Guiding principles or generally accepted societal value judgments.
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The first kiss is stolen by the
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
; the last is begged by the
womanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the
truthDefinition of truth: Accordance with the reality resp. a fact. The accuracy of the reflection of reality is meant with the notion of truth.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The most common of all follies is to believe
passionatelyDefinition of passion: A focus on something or someone, that captures mind and spirit in its entirety, and can take on fanatical forms.
in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of
mankindDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the
unknownDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants beyond everything else is safety.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six
monthsDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The trouble with fighting for
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
freedomDefinition of freedom: The possibility of a person to decide, unaffected from outside, within the limits of one's own possibilities and respect for the rights of others.
is that one spends most of one's
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The whole aim of practical
politicsDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of
truthDefinition of truth: Accordance with the reality resp. a fact. The accuracy of the reflection of reality is meant with the notion of truth.
-that the error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it is cured on one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

The worshiper is the father of the
godsDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Theology is the effort to explain the
unknowableDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
in terms of the not worth knowing.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

There comes a
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
when a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
must spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

There is always a
wellDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
-
knownDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
solution to every
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
problem-neat, plausible, and wrong.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

There is always an easy solution to every
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

To be in
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
died for ideas that were true!



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
with larger cerebums and smaller adrenal glands.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

We are here and it is now. Further than that all
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
knowledgeDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
is moonshine.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

We must respect the other fellow's
religionDefinition of religion: A worldview, based on the belief in one or more supernatural, unearthly, extrasensory forces and principles, that transcend the physical universe.
, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

When
womenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
kiss, it always reminds me of prizefighters shaking hands.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Wife: a former sweetheart.



H. L. Mencken

Philosophy

Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.



H. L. Mencken