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Main

Philosophy

'Dick' is a dirty word, even if it's a small.



Coluche

Philosophy

Social security, everything is insured. Except the clock. That, we won't steal, staff has the eyes constantly fixed on it.



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Philosophy

On TV they say every
dayDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
: 'Is three million
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
who want to work.' That's not true: money would just them.



Coluche

Philosophy

Actor? A nerdy profession where one spends most of his
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
doing service as if you asked a driver to repair his plane in case of damage.



Coluche

Philosophy

Attention to overwork. And especially when you aren't watching anything, remember to remove your glasses!



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Philosophy

With prefabricated houses, for the credit you can fix what collapses, and after fifteen years the ruins are to you.



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Philosophy

Having air con may be useful, but it be really would be easier.



Coluche

Philosophy

Gains only benefits only after.



Coluche

Philosophy

It's pretty, progress? Tomorrow, when a book will be offered to a kid, it the turn in all directions to see where to put the batteries.



Coluche

Philosophy

It is not complicated, in
politicsDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
, just to have a
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
conscience, and that to have a bad memory!



Coluche

Philosophy

It's not hard
politicsDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
as a profession. You're doing five years of law and everything else is wrong.



Coluche

Philosophy

It's not really my fault that there ' who were hungry, but that it would become if we changed nothing.



Coluche

Philosophy

It's really expensive studies! And yet, I was careful. I was one of those who studied the least.



Coluche

Philosophy

These aren't those who run the faster who are the most eager.



Coluche

Philosophy

Some have an honest, but when they shake hands with you, you
betterDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
count your fingers.



Coluche

Philosophy

How many there are of
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
who work in social security? One in four.



Coluche

Philosophy

An actor, it's a job that you learn from your own. It has a name of disease: egocentrism.



Coluche

Philosophy

In administration, we can't sleep in the office in the morning, otherwise we no longer
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
what to do in the afternoon.



Coluche

Philosophy

In
lifeDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
, there ' has no major, y' has no small. The right length for legs, is when the feet touch the ground.



Coluche

Philosophy

In the demonstrations, useless to leave on
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
, you have to run.



Coluche

Philosophy

In an egg, there ' a white and yellow.
WellDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
more we mix, the more there is of the yellow!



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Philosophy

Of all those who have nothing to say, the nicest are those who are silent.



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Philosophy

Sometimes we have more contact with a poor dog with a rich
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
.



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Philosophy

Ideas, everyone got the same. What is needed is to use.



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Philosophy

Sex news: recorded a net tightening of the situation.



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Philosophy

GodDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
has created alcohol for ugly
womenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
fuck anyway.



Coluche

Philosophy

GodDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
said, there will be white
menDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
, black men, there will be big men, short men. There are handsome men, ugly and all men will be equal, but it will not be easy.



Coluche

Philosophy

GodDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
, it's like the sugar in the warm milk. It is everywhere and it is not... And less we find more we're looking for.



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Philosophy

Now learn the french, to
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
the french.



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Philosophy

In Scotland, a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
was arrested for indecency... because he entered to the front with his kilt.



Coluche

Philosophy

Counting all the
godsDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
, demigods, quarters of gods... There have been 62 million gods since the beginnings of humanity! So, guys who
thinkDefinition of mind: The ability to think, so instead of just concrete objects, to spiritually consider abstract principles.
that theirs is the only
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
...



Coluche

Philosophy

Have to laugh every 4
secondsDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
. If you let go 8 seconds, it's called an effect. If you let 12 seconds, it's called a flop.



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Philosophy

A living worth not, whereas we have already. The job there's not much need to leave it to those who like it.



Coluche

Philosophy

PoliticianDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
, it's a profession where it is more useful to have relationships than remorseful.



Coluche

Philosophy

Reviled or who's up.



Coluche

Philosophy

He must pick the cherries with the tail. I already had trouble with the hand!



Coluche

Philosophy

There are no frigid
womenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
. There is only gossips.



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Philosophy

That there are serious
thingsDefinition of thing: All, that confronts the subject, as a recognising ego, as perceptable content in the external world.
that are funny. As soon as a guy says something serious, we can already make fun of his mouth.



Coluche

Philosophy

It seems that the crisis makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. I don't see how that's a crisis. Since I was little, that's how.



Coluche

Philosophy

There are two kinds of justice: you have the lawyer who is familiar with the law, and the lawyer who
knowsDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
the judge!



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Philosophy

There are still fewer foreigners than racists in France.



Coluche

Philosophy

Somewhere there is a poetry of stupidity.



Coluche

Philosophy

I always
thoughtDefinition of mind: The ability to think, so instead of just concrete objects, to spiritually consider abstract principles.
that it had to be big to be successful! In France, only fat
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
are funny.



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Philosophy

I have nothing against foreigners. The problem is that on the one hand, they speak french for most... And according to the country where we're going, they don't speak the same foreign country.



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Philosophy

I'm neither for, nor against, on the contrary.



Coluche

Philosophy

I didn't go anywhere, but I came back from everything.



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Philosophy

I am capable of the
bestDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
and the worst. But, in the worst, it's me the best.



Coluche

Philosophy

I would like to reassure the
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
who die of hunger in the
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
: here, we eat for you.



Coluche

Philosophy

Money does not have the happiness of the poor. What is the least of
thingsDefinition of thing: All, that confronts the subject, as a recognising ego, as perceptable content in the external world.
.



Coluche

Philosophy

The art of the comic, it's give the impression you do anything when we worked 10
hoursDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
on a mimicry or a sentence.



Coluche

Philosophy

The future belongs to those who have the veto.



Coluche

Philosophy

Team
spiritDefinition of spirit: The essence of the non-physical nature of life. Also: the sophisticated, refined expression of life.
... It's guys who are a team, they have a spirit! Then, they share!



Coluche

Philosophy

The horror is
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
.



Coluche

Philosophy

Humour has always been against the power, regardless of the regime.



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Philosophy

Instability is necessary for progress. If we stay on the spot, we go back.



Coluche

Philosophy

Intelligence in humans, anyway, he always feels to have enough, as it is with what he considers!



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Philosophy

France, as it is, it's no worse than if it was worse!



Coluche

Philosophy

The bigamy is when you have two
womenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
; and the monotony, it's when we don't have one!



Coluche

Philosophy

The Chamber of Deputies, half are
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
for nothing. Others are willing to do anything.



Coluche

Philosophy

The song is an industry because a handful of fools has managed to be less stupid than the rest!



Coluche

Philosophy

The criticism is a parasite of the company which has no influence! Critics are old fools, unable to do another job so that the majority of artists on the return might very
wellDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
become critical!



Coluche

Philosophy

The difference there is between the birds and the
politiciansDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
, but from
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
to time the birds stop flying!



Coluche

Philosophy

Drugs killed hundred in France last year, fifty thousand alcohol! Choose your camp, Comrade!



Coluche

Philosophy

The right won the elections. The left won the election. What is once the France that wins the election?



Coluche

Philosophy

The misery of the
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
isn't
humanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
dimension.



Coluche

Philosophy

The death... If we're hit, we'd
betterDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
laugh. and if we're not affected, there is no reason to not laugh.



Coluche

Philosophy

The police, it is a haven for alcoholics that it did not want the SNCF and the PTT.



Coluche

Philosophy

PoliticsDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
is like flirting: If we want to go further, get closer.



Coluche

Philosophy

The popularity is like perfume. A little, it's nice. Should not fall into the jar, otherwise it becomes a smell. We carry around everywhere.



Coluche

Philosophy

The reason for the bed is always the
bestDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
.



Coluche

Philosophy

LifeDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
is over when you surprise more person.



Coluche

Philosophy

The Council claims, it's Wednesday, the day of the kids. They go to the sand, they make pasta, it's nice. The guard of the buckets is there.



Coluche

Philosophy

Cancer, at the price that it costs, not even sure to die healed.



Coluche

Philosophy

Capitalism is the exploitation of
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
by man! Trade unionism, it's the opposite.



Coluche

Philosophy

The toadstool, is found in the cars.



Coluche

Philosophy

Communism, is one of the only serious diseases that it has not tested on animals.



Coluche

Philosophy

The Government takes care of the job. The Prime Minister is personally responsible for employment. Especially hers.



Coluche

Philosophy

Marriage, trust there is not. We need witnesses, as in accidents.



Coluche

Philosophy

The hardest for
politiciansDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
, is to have the memory to remember what not to say.



Coluche

Philosophy

Success, it makes modest when you're not
beingDefinition of existence: The universal presence of a physical or spiritual thing or entity. It is the cause of everything else and is at the basis of everything else.
stupid. And thanks to him, you meet a lot of gifted children entering ever.



Coluche

Philosophy

Tennis and table tennis, it's the same. Except tennis, players are standing on the table.



Coluche

Philosophy

Artichokes, it is a real dish of poor. It's the only dish when you're done eating, you have more on your plate than when you started!



Coluche

Philosophy

Camping camps, this is something! It's something that stinks, which costs money, where
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
crowd by pleasure and if tomorrow they were forced to go, they gueuleraient as ever!



Coluche

Philosophy

The Cardinals, they put small red circles on the head, it's to not lose them in the squares!



Coluche

Philosophy

WomenDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
are equal to men the
dayDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
where they will accept to be bald and find this distinguished.



Coluche

Philosophy

The peace keepers, rather than keep it, they
betterDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
fuck us!



Coluche

Philosophy

PoliticiansDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
, there, to shine in society, they would eat shoe Polish.



Coluche

Philosophy

The doors of the future are open to those who
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
how to push them.



Coluche

Philosophy

Psychiatrists, it is very effective. Me, before, I wet the bed, I was ashamed. I went to see a psychiatrist, I'm cured. Now, I pee in the bed, but I'm proud.



Coluche

Philosophy

Athletes, the
timeDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
they spend running, they take not to wonder why they are running. Then, after it is surprising that they are so stupid on arrival to departure!



Coluche

Philosophy

Ladies, a Council. If you are looking for a beautiful, rich and intelligent
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
... take three!



Coluche

Philosophy

Me, I fucked a
womanDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
... I gave a date, and I did not go!



Coluche

Philosophy

PoliticiansDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
, I call it stamps. From the front, they smile at you, they're frozen. But if ever you spend them hand in the back, so there, it fits!



Coluche

Philosophy

My grandfather said to the doctor:
-Hey, doctor. I'd rather die than be operated.

The doctor replied:
-One does not preclude the other.



Coluche

Philosophy

My psychiatrist, for fifteen thousand francs, he RID me of what I had: fifteen thousand francs.



Coluche

Philosophy

We have
politiciansDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
that the
worldDefinition of universe: The totality of all existing things that can influence each other. Our physical universe consists of space, time, matter, and energy, where mass and energy can pass into one another, and time is an additional dimension. That is, in addition to the space-time-continuum one could also speak of the energy-mass-continuum.
envies us... they could come and get them, but they do not!



Coluche

Philosophy

It is believed that dreams, it is made to come true. That's the problem of dreams: that's it's done to be dreamed.



Coluche

Philosophy

You can always find more stupid than supporters: y'a sportsmen. Because the supporters, they sit: the others, they run!



Coluche

Philosophy

Papomobile: registered design. A Pope over, sixteen valve underneath.



Coluche

Philosophy

More is, the less rice.



Coluche

Philosophy

To criticize
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
one must
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
, and to know them,
loveDefinition of love: The most powerful form of affection and appreciation that a being can bring towards another being, or a thing.
them.



Coluche

Philosophy

A bad musician, to at least five years of studies. While to make a bad actor, it takes just ten
minutesDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
.



Coluche

Philosophy

For that there is the unemployment somewhere, must already have work. In France, there are two, only when there is work, workers complain about work.



Coluche

Philosophy

Why
GodDefinition of God: With God, goddess or deity is meant a supernatural being, to whom special worship is given. Special qualities are attributed to this being, for example, to be the origin or creator of the universe and of all living beings. Even omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence are often attributed to it.
invented the Catholics? So there is still buying the retail...



Coluche

Philosophy

When I was little at home, the harder it was the end of the
monthDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
... Especially in the last 30
daysDefinition of time: General term for the experienced changes in our environment and ourselves. It can be gauged by the magnitude of the change.
!



Coluche

Philosophy

When you do a flop, everybody
knowsDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
why, when you do a success, nobody knows why.



Coluche

Philosophy

When you fall asleep with the ass scratching, you wake up with fingers that stink.



Coluche

Philosophy

When you see the sadness of the biknites, we understand why it is forbidden the hackique and say than wine, it should be mandatory.



Coluche

Philosophy

When you see a COP on the street, it's that there's no danger. If there was danger, the COP would not be there.



Coluche

Philosophy

Only athletes stop doping... We'll look smart in front of our TVs until they beat records.



Coluche

Philosophy

To deal with his past, is to risk falling into oblivion.



Coluche

Philosophy

If I get the chance, I'd rather die in my
lifetimeDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
!



Coluche

Philosophy

If the theatre had to impress upon
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
the reality of stupidity, Molière happened there before us.



Coluche

Philosophy

If journalists were the funambules, there is a high mortality in the profession.



Coluche

Philosophy

If a
manDefinition of man: Homo sapiens sapiens. A higher mammal of the biological order of primates. Able to reason according to the label.
sees the opportunity and he can't catch him, it really is a fool.



Coluche

Philosophy

If you need anything, call me. I'll tell you how spend you.



Coluche

Philosophy

Be lazy you will
liveDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
happy



Coluche

Philosophy

As long as we do laugh, it's jokes. As soon as it's not funny, it's insults.



Coluche

Philosophy

Technocrats, it's the guys that when you ask them a question, once they have finished to answer, you understand more the question that you asked.



Coluche

Philosophy

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you.



Coluche

Philosophy

An Arab charged with official corruption. He had given a sugar to a police dog!



Coluche

Philosophy

A
goodDefinition of good: A relative term for the things, states, activities and attitudes that are conducive to human life.
politicalDefinition of politics: Politics is the determination of the way of living together in a community by enforced guidelines or instructions.
speech must only ideas with which everyone is in agreement before!



Coluche

Philosophy

A long-term credit, it means you can pay less, more you pay.



Coluche

Philosophy

It's been a soldier who dies in his bed? A less!



Coluche

Philosophy

A neutral country, it is a country that doesn't sell arms to a country at war. Unless he pays cash.



Coluche

Philosophy

You have foreigners coming to France as a Sweeper, and after they remain as black!



Coluche

Philosophy

Do you
knowDefinition of knowledge: Secured insight is considered knowledge. An insight can never be considered absolutely secured, but only as beyond reasonable doubt.
the three most important Jewish holidays? The Yom-Kippur, Roshanna and ready-to-wear show.



Coluche

Philosophy

There are
peopleDefinition of people: A generalizing concept for human beings or persons. Typically one means ones own countrymen, or the people in ones own respective environment.
who have children because they do not have the means to afford a dog.



Coluche

Philosophy

Is there
lifeDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
after death? Only Jesus could answer this question. Unfortunately he died.



Coluche

Philosophy

Y' is something we're sure when you're Minister, it is that we return to school, while in prison, must see!



Coluche

Philosophy

It changes your
lifeDefinition of life: The amount of functioning organisms in the physical universe. Their typical properties are: energy and metabolism, organization, susceptibility, reproductive capacity, heredity and growth.
, to be featured. A lot. Only
friendsDefinition of friend: Someone to which you have a relationship based on mutual affection. It is characterized by trust and familiarity.
you have not less, but more
enemiesDefinition of enemy: An adversary. In contrast to the opponent, who is an adversary in the case of sporty, playful, or legal issues, an enemy is linked to a (also physical) mutual threat.
.



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